Two can play this game.


I have always thought of dating as a hunting game where the fittest survive the dry spell. The burden of wooing the ‘coy, hard-to-get’ prey left solely to the hunter. But if the prey is willing…then it’s a feast! This rather ‘utopian’ idea suggests that every player in the game gets what they want, if not what they need,to their satisfaction which is far from reality.

As Eurythmics in the song  sweet dreams, an all-time favourite, put it; everybody, man or woman,while alive is out looking for something. The thing so enthusiastically sort after remains the same. The means of getting it however are what keep changing over time. It is the change in these means that has seen my ‘romantic’ idea of dating as a hunting game that pleases all mutate into that of a con game. Yes. A con game. The hunter has become a con artist.

It is said that the secret of being a top-notch con artist is being able to know what the mark wants, and make him think he’s getting it. Manipulation, if you ask me. Meet the players; men and women. It is an art that has been perfected by both sexes so much that an unsuspecting victim,who perhaps believes in a hunting game that ends on a ‘happily forever after’ note, will get swindled before they realize what hit them.

Men are better at it. They come with fewer emotions attached to them so i suppose their conscience isn’t bothered much. How are they con artists,you ask? Simple. They understand that physical motivation will get them what they want…physical elevation. And that girls just want to have fun.So that tall, dark and not so handsome fella sits at a club, scouts for ‘potentials’ and once the prey has been marked…he leaves his wallet to earn him a score. The conversation will flow as long as the drinks keep coming to the table. He’s has better chances if the same is extended to her friends.Somehow the more a guy spends the more ‘sweet, generous and really nice’  he appears. So he’ll take her out for dinner to a place where she probably can’t pronounce a thing on the menu. Send her airtime and possibly money for her weekly upkeep. Pay for all her expenses; travel, beauty(because beauty doesn’t come cheap) and whatever else she has on her list. Sooner than later, he becomes Mr. Flintstone of Bedrock. Chances are, when the target is hit all his efforts magically disappear, communication is cut and the ‘sweet, generous and really nice’ guy becomes a prick,an ass or a jerk. Am not saying philanthropy and chivalry is dead… just laying somewhere in a coma.

Women. These players make the game even more interesting. Perceived by most as mere victims, they have turned things around to prove that two can play this game. Unlike men who probably only use women for sex, women have expanded the scope of their manipulative art to cover financial, psychological and sexual gain. Again, you ask how? They understand that men. are visual beings who love the sight of ‘pretty and sexy’ things. And for those who defy nature and insist that they are not…they have learned that stroking his ego or playing helpless to make him feel like ‘a knight in shining armour’ will get you what them what they want. All they want is to have fun. And money makes the world go round.

So the P.Y.T sits at the club in her short, ‘sexy’, body hugging dress revealing such a beautiful view that the tall, dark and not so handsome fella cannot resist. With her legs crossed like the lady that she is…she sits patiently, waiting for the tall, dark not so handsome spender to make his way up to her. If he appears to be taking too long..she will soon be on her feet moving her body in ways that only a man defying nature would resist. Before you know it…fun!! But the trick with this so called man-eaters is they don’t stay in one place for too long. They know understand that fun is only short of a few letters to make funeral. so before the end of the night she slips out of the club with her entourage. The guy knows only too well not to try something as stupid as detaining her. After all, buying a few drinks doesn’t mean he owns her.

If she’s good at it…she will leave him her number. She knows they love the thrill of the chase. So she fools him into believing he is on track. She will accept his invites when he asks to take her for dinner in places where she probably can’t pronounce a thing on the menu and possibly feign happiness for a few hours. Laughter,smiles..name it. All this while she knows there’s no way in heaven and hell the guy can make it on the ‘to be considered list’ but the food is good and the experience will make a great story for when she meets her friends. Third date…not even a peck. The clueless guy keeps at it. All he wants is her and if keeping her happy will bring her to his doorstep…what harm would spending a few thousands on her do? So she’ll get him to buy a few niceties(electronics and smartphones included) or pay up for her expenses. When she’s all happy and content or he seems like he’s a tad too ‘clingy’ she spits him out and goes AWOL. “This isn’t working.” The last words he’ll probably ever hear from her.

That, Ladies,gentlemen and others is game well played.

My two cents. 🙂