THE “WAR AGAINST CORRUPTION”


Every few weeks, echoes of the government’s strong expressions of its renewed and unending commitment to the fight against corruption reverberate from podiums, lecterns, pulpits and daises across the country. While I must commend the government for the consistency and strong affirmations in a country where hope for good governance is dwindling, I must also state that that part of their speeches is now a stale joke. Phoney baloney, if you like. Surely, there has to be limit on the number of times that commitment can be renewed. Or perhaps before renewing, consider committing. And committing fully. As a last option, perhaps stagger the period between which a pledge is made and renewed. Kenyans are a forgetful lot. You might just get away with it.

 
It’s easier on our part as citizens, to sit and lay blame on a bunch of fallible people with the power to act as though they weren’t, for our country’s weaknesses. That’s how it works, I suppose. Someone has to take one for the team. The harder part is usually admitting that we also have a role to play and the choice of either fanning or putting out fires where they break out.The hardest part, which I will attempt to take part in, is avoiding the fires altogether.

 
The whole idea behind this fight or war against corruption is just ludicrous. A war fought by a country so peaceful and peace loving, Kenya Yetu, Hakuna Matata. A war fought for years where none of the warring parties ever emerges victor. They are both equal in might. Where much of what is said about the prisoners of war is that they have been set free or escaped. Whichever fits the story. A war in which the country’s soldiers are so brave and relentless that they would rather die (resign) than live with the thought of letting their country down. A war fought with the deadliest of weapons of mass destruction. Eradicate all, leave none alive. (Laws and rules which people have little regard for.) A war where the adjudicators of the conduct of the warring parties are irate social network users who would rather rant than actually do something, like vote for heroes to lead us into battle. Still and all. It is a war.

 
These few thoughts led to me to think that perhaps Kenya needs to rethink its fight against corruption. Perhaps the reason we are losing out is because majority of Kenyans will not throw stones at this ogre called corruption, because they live in glass houses. If we really had intent, we would perhaps also rein in on the matatu police (traffic police), government offices and places of work…the grass root level. But we would rather have someone big take one for the team. Because in Kenya, politicians and high-ranking government officials are the only corrupt people. When you and I bribe ourselves out of a traffic offence, it is the way things are done. Nothing to look into here.

 
So we have a majority that is not willing to fight and weapons in the nature of laws that do not really destruct yet we keep bending over backwards, exhausting our energies and resources in this war. The argument I am raising in very many words is that perhaps we need not line up for battle. Perhaps, we could address this diplomatically.
How? People often resort to corruption because the processes involved in gaining access to much needed services are governed by bureaucratic and slow administrative practices. Therefore when gaining access to the much needed services becomes a matter of life and death, and these practices act as barriers, any right-thinking person will look for incentives that could possibly speed up their matter. To the address the situation, the government should scrap out obstructive bureaucracies. This sets a level playing field for all making the need for corruption less desirable.

 
There is also need to understand why corruption is prevalent in our country at almost all levels of human interaction. Most Kenyan communities prescribe to the gift culture where rewards are given for services rendered, even where the service giver is obliged by law/custom to do so. The culture has been used to perpetuate corruption with a twist to it as it is now the service givers who demand the gift before the service is rendered. Changing people’s cultures may take a while or never happen at all, but the government should at least try and sensitize people on how duties and rights owed them are to be executed. If this is done, then the mwananchi will understand, those in administrative offices owe them a duty to serve and their only obligation is to comply with the law and receive the services.

 
Further, corruption is often a response to shortages or limits on opportunities and resources. Where services and resources are availed in rations, by operation of the rules of the jungle, the fittest (the richest) rush in to secure their bid. The weaklings (the poor) lose out on access to these opportunities and the cycle of poverty begins there. Jobs are then given to those who bid properly in the system in place of meritocracy. Economic growth is hampered and a myriad of other problems crawl in. The government thus, should avail basic services such as health, education and access to justice freely. The term freely here should not only mean devoid of costs, but also include service delivery at the highest attainable standards and quality.

 
Lastly, the lack of proper accountability structures or the existence of those that don’t work efficiently, fosters the spread of corruption like wildfire. Where those vested with authority/power answer to no one but themselves a sense of infallibility develops in them and on the offices they hold. They are left to decide their fate which often means they hold all the bargaining chips. They, for instance, make laws and rules which they can exploit for their benefit such as imposing requirements for numerous licenses for a single businesses. A trap for easy bribes. The wider cracks in governance systems therefore need to be filled first to alienate the need for people to resort to corruption as a lifestyle.

 
All manner of wars and fights waged against corruption will not yield into much until some of these underlying problems are addressed first and thoroughly. There is no guarantee that this diplomatic methods will rid our country of corruption. Pigs will still be greedy. It however, absolves us from the guilt of throwing fellow countrymen into a battle field unprepared, without first exhausting all available means to prevent the war.

 
My two cents.

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LEAFY GREEN


I was a leaf.

A leaf so green and full of life.

I grew on a tree.

A tree so tall, it felt like one day I would touch the sky.

 

I was a happy leaf.

A leaf so happy, I played to the tune of the winds.

This way, that way, whichever way.

Oh joy untold, it felt like I was high up in the sky.

 

You were the sun.

A sun so bright, you would bring light into me.

Oh how you shone! Oh how the light fell on me!

A light so warm, I wanted to shout it out loud to the sky.

 

You were a scorching sun.

A sun so hot, you drained the water out of me.

Oh how you burned and left me with scars.

Scars so yellow, I longed for water from clouds in the sky.

 

I was a weak leaf.

A leaf so weak, I tumbled when the winds blew.

Oh how I tumbled, rumbled and stumbled on the ground.

A ground so low, I could no longer touch the sky.

 

There was a wind.

A wind so strong, it blew me off the ground.

Oh how it blew! Whish whoosh, and flew me up in the air.

Now I am a leaf, a leaf flying high up in the sky.

~Ryanne

6934854-nice-green-leaf Continue reading “LEAFY GREEN”

THE “WAR AGAINST CORRUPTION”


Every few weeks, echoes of the government’s strong expressions of its renewed and unending commitment to the fight against corruption reverberate from podiums, lecterns, pulpits and daises across the country. While I must commend the government for the consistency and strong affirmations in a country where hope for good governance is dwindling, I must also state that that part of their speeches is now a stale joke. Phoney baloney, if you like. Surely, there has to be limit on the number of times that commitment can be renewed. Or perhaps before renewing, consider committing. And committing fully. As a last option, perhaps stagger the period between which a pledge is made and renewed. Kenyans are a forgetful lot. You might just get away with it.

It’s easier on our part as citizens, to sit and lay blame on a bunch of fallible people with the power to act as though they weren’t, for our country’s weaknesses. That’s how it works, I suppose. Someone has to take one for the team. The harder part is usually admitting that we also have a role to play and the choice of either fanning or putting out fires where they break out. The hardest part, which I will attempt to take part in, is avoiding the fires altogether.

The whole idea behind this fight or war against corruption is just ludicrous.  A war fought by a country so peaceful and peace loving, Kenya Yetu, Hakuna Matata. A war fought for years where none of the warring parties ever emerges victor. They are both equal in might. Where much of what is said about the prisoners of war is that they have been set free or escaped. Whichever fits the story. A war in which the country’s soldiers are so brave and relentless that they would rather die (resign) than live with the thought of letting their country down. A war fought with the deadliest of weapons of mass destruction. Eradicate all, leave none alive. (Laws and rules which people have little regard for.) A war where the adjudicators of the conduct of the warring parties are irate social network users who would rather rant than actually do something, like vote for heroes to lead us into battle. Still and all. It is a war.

These few thoughts led to me to think that perhaps Kenya needs to rethink its fight against corruption. Perhaps the reason we are losing out is because majority of Kenyans will not throw stones at this ogre called corruption, because they live in glass houses. If we really had intent, we would perhaps also rein in on the matatu police (traffic police), government offices and places of work…the grass root level. But we would rather have someone big take one for the team. Because in Kenya, politicians and high-ranking government officials are the only corrupt people. When you and I bribe ourselves out of a traffic offence, it is the way things are done. Nothing to look into here.

So we have a majority that is not willing to fight and weapons in the nature of laws that do not really destruct yet we keep bending over backwards, exhausting our energies and resources in this war. The argument I am raising in very many words is that perhaps we need not line up for battle. Perhaps, we could address this diplomatically.

How? People often resort to corruption because the processes involved in gaining access to much needed services are governed by bureaucratic and slow administrative practices. Therefore when gaining access to the much needed services becomes a matter of life and death, and these practices act as barriers, any right-thinking person will look for incentives that could possibly speed up their matter. To the address the situation, the government should scrap out obstructive bureaucracies. This sets a level playing field for all making the need for corruption less desirable.

There is also need to understand why corruption is prevalent in our country at almost all levels of human interaction. Most Kenyan communities prescribe to the gift culture where rewards are given for services rendered, even where the service giver is obliged by law/custom to do so. The culture has been used to perpetuate corruption with a twist to it as it is now the service givers who demand the gift before the service is rendered. Changing people’s cultures may take a while or never happen at all, but the government should at least try and sensitize people on how duties and rights owed them are to be executed. If this is done, then the mwananchi will understand, those in administrative offices owe them a duty to serve and their only obligation is to comply with the law and receive the services.

Further, corruption is often a response to shortages or limits on opportunities and resources. Where services and resources are availed in rations, by operation of the rules of the jungle, the fittest (the richest) rush in to secure their bid. The weaklings (the poor) lose out on access to these opportunities and the cycle of poverty begins there. Jobs are then given to those who bid properly in the system in place of meritocracy. Economic growth is hampered and a myriad of other problems crawl in. The government thus, should avail basic services such as health, education and access to justice freely. The term freely here should not only mean devoid of costs, but also include service delivery at the highest attainable standards and quality.

Lastly, the lack of proper accountability structures or the existence of those that don’t work efficiently, fosters the spread of corruption like wildfire. Where those vested with authority/power answer to no one but themselves a sense of infallibility develops in them and on the offices they hold. They are left to decide their fate which often means they hold all the bargaining chips. They, for instance, make laws and rules which they can exploit for their benefit such as imposing requirements for numerous licenses for a single businesses.  A trap for easy bribes.  The wider cracks in governance systems therefore need to be filled first to alienate the need for people to resort to corruption as a lifestyle.

CYMERA_20150620_073658

All manner of wars and fights waged against corruption will not yield into much until some of these underlying problems are addressed first and thoroughly. There is no guarantee that this diplomatic methods will rid our country of corruption. Pigs will still be greedy.  It however, absolve us from the guilt of throwing fellow countrymen into a battle field unprepared, without first exhausting all available means to prevent the war.

My two cents.

Of Fortunate Accidents.


 

Here’s something I’m certain my mother wouldn’t be proud of but I can’t keep mum over it any longer. In the past week, I have had some rather meaningful and decent conversations with two complete strangers. One on my walk to work in the morning, (Yes, I have been elevated to walking-working class now and I’m loving it!) and the other on my bus ride home. (Sometimes I pay to be driven home by complete strangers. Boss Lady.) For those of you giving me the odd looks, I’ll have you know that they didn’t hand out any sweets laced with drugs, neither were they psycho, jilted lovers now turned into serial killers hunting for a look-alike of their once one true love. Just two seemingly decent guys (good-looking I should add) looking to strike a conversation and beat the lonely silence we’re often faced with.

My first response to both of them was a forced fake smile in the hope that they’d realize I’m not into it. Besides, they were both quite charming and I felt their efforts deserved a little more than my usual blank look coupled with silence. It would also have been utterly rude to just walk away or change seats. But when they persisted I was forced to ask whether face to face stranger-talk had made a comeback in the 21st century while I was busy reveling in my ‘grand’ achievements.  It could be I’m the only one here who finds it peculiar that someone would master up the courage, walk up to you and join you in minding your business. Well, my two stranger-friends (I have no other term for them really) thought nothing odd of their approach.

“The universe has to be sending me a message,” I thought. Either, one, I have to stop looking dejected and lonely on my way to and from work. Two, my new official dress code is really working for me and therefore I should invest heavily in that sector (That should make a good case for a raise, don’t you think?). Three, I really have no friends because I have a lousy personality and it’s about time that changed. Four, this is how I’m bound to meet my significant other and meeting my two stranger- friends  was a practice run so that I won’t mess up the real deal. Five, serendipity.

It would be somehow naive to assume the two had no ulterior motive in chatting up a girl like me, that they weren’t secretly hoping I’d somehow buy their charm, dish out my number and call whatever happens next magic. Interestingly, neither of them did. It seemed like they both only meant to strike conversation and make my day (which they did). That’s the only reason I’m selling because the alternative would be that my hard-to-get game is so on point that they both couldn’t get to asking for my phone number. Something I wouldn’t be so proud of. I mean, age will eventually catch up and eggs will begin to shrivel.

So then I was left puzzled.  I am known to think too much and far about the most trivial of matters and as such, my grey matter would not let these two incidents pass by just so casually. The things that stood out the most for me were:

  1. That either, all the psychos have been locked up in mental institutions. Two, they’re all out there driving and have no need to walk or ride the bus. (That would really explain the madness on some of our roads) Three, I am yet to meet the perfect psychotic stranger therefore this post is a waste of my time.
  2. That a stranger could possibly be the closest you’ll come to a smile and a hearty laugh. That you never have enough friends in the world. There’s always room for more.
  3. There are still guys out there are full of charm and confidence. Not the macho, chest-thumping, bloated ego type, no. Suave, calm and decent which is attractive. (I think, because it’s rare?)
  4. That offering bottle service to a group of lasses at a night club; double-tapping that photo on Instagram she clearly made an effort to look good in; retweeting her posts however lame and recycled they may be; commenting on any of her photos wherever they may be, isn’t the only way to catch a woman’s attention.
  5. That you don’t have to pay to meet new people. Except if you’re taking a matatu in which case the cost is really negligible unless you’re using a route that bears a “Karibu Nairobi/ Come back soon” sign board. The streets offer you the platform to meet people and it’s absolutely free! The only price you pay is to look approachable. (Yeah, the only absolutely free thing I know is the ride around the sun all year)
  6. That, women out there looking to meet good-looking, charming and decent guys probably have to work on looking good, approachable but somehow still managing to look lonely and dejected. Perhaps the dame in distress look really works. And if you’re open to online dating you shouldn’t find feigning that look too hard to try. We’re all about faking it anyway.

I could go on, but the loyal readers here know I barely make it past 4. I’m looking forward to meeting my two stranger-friends in the coming week. Hopefully, they I won’t be wearing the same outfits they saw me in. And to save face, I promise I won’t go deliberately looking for them. I’ll leave all to chance.

Opinion onion

 

 

When The Living Dig Their Own Graves.


The Intrigues of life. I would love to write a book on that someday. Perhaps after I find a permanent cure to the recurring bouts of writer’s block I have been suffering from lately. Or  find a fresh and long-lasting source of inspiration.  Set out on a treacherous quest to find a muse, my muse. I digress. The intrigues of life…sometimes bad things happen to good people, good things happen for bad people and other times, everyone gets what they deserve. Interesting. Almost as interesting as fortune knocking only once on every man’s door while misfortune overstays its welcome.

Although seldom, golden opportunities present themselves at one point or another in our lives. They don’t always ask  if you’re ready to take up the challenge. It’s assumed that you are. You should be. The Irony. That you should bear no uncertainty about taking up an uncertainty…a  mere opportunity that has no guarantees.

Worse, we do not even create a conducive environment for these great opportunities to present themselves. We’re stuck so deep in mediocrity that our every morning routine is to convince ourselves that we’ve done the best we can so far with our lives. Well, have we? Have you? Or has life so far been a grave digging experience with the only progress made perhaps being from using a shovel to a backhoe?

I never write motivational pieces and this is hardly an attempt. But I was challenged recently by someone who dared me to be different. At first it made no sense because like everyone else,I am different from everyone else. It got me thinking, great things don’t happen to us mostly because we don’t let them. How?

1. Living a life guided by fear

Too afraid to try and be wrong. I’ll admit, the world is not too forgiving about anyone being wrong. Ask Nick Mutuma. Even when you being wrong is a perception the world has all wrong. Regardless, we should be quick to realize that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. You could very well be the famous_ misguided, overzealous blogger who later got her act right and now has better content in her writing which the world craves for daily. Lqtm. At the risk of sounding cliché, Thomas Edison would never have invented the light bulb if he was too afraid to try and be wrong. Remember that before you settle in the warmth of your cocoon.

2.Procrastination

You have a deadline for a project that could potentially change the entire course of your life but interestingly catching up on the latest episodes of Game of Thrones or turning up with friends seems more appealing. You tell yourself that you’re a smart pea in pod that cracks open best, when under pressure. The pod will burst open alright, but the pea won’t be as green as you’d want it. Opportunities like time wait for no man. While you’re out there giving your sloppy results someone else is giving more than was required.

3.Comparision with others

It doesn’t help that we live in an age where we’re all about sharing our lives with strangers and friends equally on social media. The beauty of it all being that we’re allowed to be biased in our sharing. Say for instance I was feeling lonely and vulnerable, or I earn peanuts from my 8-5 job..you’ll never know because my photos on instagram of me and my friends partying like it’s the end of the world (I may or may not have quoted a song here, but yours is to stay on point, not judge) at every out-of-town event do not give me away. So there you are feeling miserably sorry for yourself when in real sense, I have it worse. You might also want to read this for some deeper insights on the same
http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

4.Fixating on the past.

A classic upgrade from using shovel to using a backhoe and still digging your own grave. So what, chances were missed before?! Dwelling on past failures keep us from moving forward towards future successes. I’m not saying forget the past entirely but learn from those lost chances and prepare yourself well enough not to lose out on those that are forthcoming. Misfortunes can be overwhelming and sometimes the only line between getting through them and drowning yourself into a pitiful pool of vodka is the resolve to let go and move forward.

As Albert Einstein rightfully puts it, “Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds.” Free
yourself from the rule of ordinariness and unearth your full potential instead of burying it. For purposes of consistency, that being my lame excuse for having thought of 4 ways you’re digging your own grave and missing out on golden opportunities that life has to offer ..I will leave it at that.

Tourist In Your Own Country.


The mounds of dust and cobwebs billowing out of this formerly ‘abandoned house’ could cause a blinding dust storm! Luckily, it’s a new year and within those 10 seconds to the 2014 countdown I had time to reflect on how to make this year better part of which, included rekindling my ‘writing flame’. That though, is not even close to the truth. I just really wanted to use that line. It felt befitting for January, a month that brings a renewed hope for fresh beginnings. The reality though, is that halfway through the year most these resolutions will have failed to launch.

The fear of being a non-starter pushed me back into reading. Clearly, after being away since June last year I needed to pick the brains of a few just to make sure the ‘game’ hasn’t changed much. So I read. Tweets, blogs, articles until finally I grew balls and got a book. Well not precisely in that order. The point is, I got reading. Currently i’m reading The Kite Runner by  Khaled Hosseini, an international bestseller with an intriguing story about a young afghan boy, Amir and his relationship with his closest friend, Hassan who is his father’s young servant.

My attention so far has been drawn to Chapter Nineteen of the book where Amir talks of feeling like a tourist in his own country when he goes back after twenty years of living in America. (Go buy the book or read it online here THE KITE RUNNER) There are two sides to being a tourist in your own country, one which is admirable  the other, not so much. With respect to the latter, a couple of things came to mind when I thought of Kenyan tourists in Kenya which I felt I had to share.

First off, let me say I am all about ‘live and let live’…every one being entitled to choose their own standards and lives and letting others be. However, the following characteristics of Kenyan tourists in Kenya, the kind that remain oblivious to the happenings, culture and situations in their country can be depressing.

  1. They speak every other language but Kiswahili. I’d include mother tongue but that’s being a bit too ambitious. I haven’t researched on this ‘phenomenon’ so I can’t cite accurate reasons for it but, your guess is as good as mine. For those who grew up out of Kenya or went to schools where Kiswahili wasn’t offered and lived around ‘fellow tourists’, it’s not your fault. All the same, learn the language. You can’t be more Kenyan than that.
  2. They know nothing if anything at all about the Kenyan government and the politics surrounding it but if say, the US government was to shut down, they would write a paper on it. I know politics can be boring. And on this side of the world, tiring! But, if a man was to rob you, treat you like a fool and lie incessantly to your face, wouldn’t you want to know his identity?!  They could name all 50 states of the USA. All 47 counties in Kenya? Who has time for that?
  3. “I don’t normally listen to local music…” Kenyan tourists in Kenya have a thing for this phrase. I only believe in labeling music either as good or bad depending on your taste. Where it originates from shouldn’t really matter. That song by a Kenyan artiste might have a crappy video and lame lines but there’s a catchy tune to it that you might surprisingly like or is insanely hilarious.
  4. Like the tourist they are, they compare every single little thing that happens in the country (that’s if they come by the information by chance) to the West. I mean, mattresses burn at a mall and let out a black smoke…” In western countries that smoke would be invisible!” There are more directions on the compass..look to the East, North and South as well. But home is best so, criticize and find Kenyan solutions for Kenya.

I could go on…but fortunately or unfortunately, my brain gave me an allowance of four. I will attempt to sound wise and leave you with this..”Explore your own country, the language, culture and heritage…and be the envy of the world!”

Two can play this game.


I have always thought of dating as a hunting game where the fittest survive the dry spell. The burden of wooing the ‘coy, hard-to-get’ prey left solely to the hunter. But if the prey is willing…then it’s a feast! This rather ‘utopian’ idea suggests that every player in the game gets what they want, if not what they need,to their satisfaction which is far from reality.

As Eurythmics in the song  sweet dreams, an all-time favourite, put it; everybody, man or woman,while alive is out looking for something. The thing so enthusiastically sort after remains the same. The means of getting it however are what keep changing over time. It is the change in these means that has seen my ‘romantic’ idea of dating as a hunting game that pleases all mutate into that of a con game. Yes. A con game. The hunter has become a con artist.

It is said that the secret of being a top-notch con artist is being able to know what the mark wants, and make him think he’s getting it. Manipulation, if you ask me. Meet the players; men and women. It is an art that has been perfected by both sexes so much that an unsuspecting victim,who perhaps believes in a hunting game that ends on a ‘happily forever after’ note, will get swindled before they realize what hit them.

Men are better at it. They come with fewer emotions attached to them so i suppose their conscience isn’t bothered much. How are they con artists,you ask? Simple. They understand that physical motivation will get them what they want…physical elevation. And that girls just want to have fun.So that tall, dark and not so handsome fella sits at a club, scouts for ‘potentials’ and once the prey has been marked…he leaves his wallet to earn him a score. The conversation will flow as long as the drinks keep coming to the table. He’s has better chances if the same is extended to her friends.Somehow the more a guy spends the more ‘sweet, generous and really nice’  he appears. So he’ll take her out for dinner to a place where she probably can’t pronounce a thing on the menu. Send her airtime and possibly money for her weekly upkeep. Pay for all her expenses; travel, beauty(because beauty doesn’t come cheap) and whatever else she has on her list. Sooner than later, he becomes Mr. Flintstone of Bedrock. Chances are, when the target is hit all his efforts magically disappear, communication is cut and the ‘sweet, generous and really nice’ guy becomes a prick,an ass or a jerk. Am not saying philanthropy and chivalry is dead… just laying somewhere in a coma.

Women. These players make the game even more interesting. Perceived by most as mere victims, they have turned things around to prove that two can play this game. Unlike men who probably only use women for sex, women have expanded the scope of their manipulative art to cover financial, psychological and sexual gain. Again, you ask how? They understand that men. are visual beings who love the sight of ‘pretty and sexy’ things. And for those who defy nature and insist that they are not…they have learned that stroking his ego or playing helpless to make him feel like ‘a knight in shining armour’ will get you what them what they want. All they want is to have fun. And money makes the world go round.

So the P.Y.T sits at the club in her short, ‘sexy’, body hugging dress revealing such a beautiful view that the tall, dark and not so handsome fella cannot resist. With her legs crossed like the lady that she is…she sits patiently, waiting for the tall, dark not so handsome spender to make his way up to her. If he appears to be taking too long..she will soon be on her feet moving her body in ways that only a man defying nature would resist. Before you know it…fun!! But the trick with this so called man-eaters is they don’t stay in one place for too long. They know understand that fun is only short of a few letters to make funeral. so before the end of the night she slips out of the club with her entourage. The guy knows only too well not to try something as stupid as detaining her. After all, buying a few drinks doesn’t mean he owns her.

If she’s good at it…she will leave him her number. She knows they love the thrill of the chase. So she fools him into believing he is on track. She will accept his invites when he asks to take her for dinner in places where she probably can’t pronounce a thing on the menu and possibly feign happiness for a few hours. Laughter,smiles..name it. All this while she knows there’s no way in heaven and hell the guy can make it on the ‘to be considered list’ but the food is good and the experience will make a great story for when she meets her friends. Third date…not even a peck. The clueless guy keeps at it. All he wants is her and if keeping her happy will bring her to his doorstep…what harm would spending a few thousands on her do? So she’ll get him to buy a few niceties(electronics and smartphones included) or pay up for her expenses. When she’s all happy and content or he seems like he’s a tad too ‘clingy’ she spits him out and goes AWOL. “This isn’t working.” The last words he’ll probably ever hear from her.

That, Ladies,gentlemen and others is game well played.

My two cents. 🙂